Thursday, December 09, 2004

The First Annual (Assuming I Get Around To It Next Year) Mike Statement Radio Awards

It started out as a simple annoyance, then turned to a hobby, then a topic of conversation, then back to an annoyance and it's pretty much bounced around that level since October.

Carley and I both drive an hour to school, and, as such, we are now well versed in the many annoyances of radio. Probably me more than her, because she actually has the common sense to put on a CD when there's nothing on the radio. I, alas, do not.

Anyhoo, this goes far beyond the radio's problem with commercials (I've figured it out, 24 minutes per hour, compared to 16 on TV, and you bitch about commercials in the middle of your show, eh?).

It goes far beyond the fact that those 24 minutes are packed into eight-minute chunks played every twenty minutes.

It even goes far beyond the fact that the DJs are raving lunatics, who fill the time in between commercials talking about the songs they plan on playing if they would ever shut up (case in point, Josie Dye on the Edge this morning, "That song is like a classic rock 'n' roll song, even though it's only a few months old!")

So, to combat the sheer crapitude that the radio is turning into, I have come up with (drumroll please):

The First Annual (Assuming I Get Around To It Next Year) Mike Statement Radio Awards

Now, my categories will of course be fairly biased, because, even though I do complain about it to no end, I listen to the Edge primarily. With that caveat, I give you my preliminary categories, which, hopefully (yeah right) I will get some suggestions for nominees from the plethora (plethora means not many, right?) who read my blog. Here goes:

Whiniest Song
Most Overplayed Song
Most Overplayed Band (not necessarily the same as MOS, but I'm sure it'll be close)
Most Overplayed Band That Hasn't Done Anything Recently
Most Underplayed Song
Most Underplayed Band
Worst Cover Song That The Radio Refuses To Admit Can't Hold A Candle To The Original
Worst Radio Personality
Worst Commercials
Sports Show Hosted By Myself And The Urban Zombie That You'd Like To See Back On The Air

That's all I've got for now. I had more this morning, but listening to the radio has completely sapped my cognitive abilities. So, any suggestions of different categories, or nominations for the current ones can be e-mailed to me.

And, if you don't, I'll simply nominate everyone myself, and do the awards show in my room and become a huge mega-star à la Ben Mulroney (come on, how the hell do you think Canadian Idol started?) and then I'll buy all the radio stations and run them all myself. Mwahahahahaha! But then...what will I listen to on the way to school?


Ow...I just got a brain hernia. Damn it.

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