Monday, November 28, 2005

Walking in a Winter Wonderland OR How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Became a Hermit Crab

WARNING: Before reading this, you should be made aware that the latter part contains what could be construed as angsty whining à la Thirteen. This is not my intention, but it could be easily misinterpreted based on the angsty contents of a vast majority of weblogs. You have been warned.

When I began writing this, I had planned to write an extensive recap of how I (probably) wrote off my car. Then I wrote the WARNING thing, and now I don't want to anymore. I mean, really, I've revisited the episode several times, and I'm kinda getting tired of it. Carley gives a fairly good account on her site, so I would suggest you go there.

I will say one thing, though. Fortunately (for me, probably not for her) Carley was with me at the time of the great unpleasantness. Had she not been, I probably would have, once removed from my car, wandered into opposing traffic, causing a rather gooey mess.

And, with that as an angsty prelude, we begin the whining!

I have been told by a couple of people that I'm never going to meet people if I don't put myself "out there". To which, I must say, I agree entirely. The only problem, of course, is that I don't care! Hurrah for apathy!

I have found that, when "out there", one of two things happens to me:
  1. I usually get lost, fall down wells, become prey for salivating wolves and witches, and generally get into all sorts of mediaeval escapades
  2. I look like an ass trying to avoid these escapades
As such, I've decided I won't be venturing "out there" for a while. I don't feel like meeting new people, since I seldom see the people I already care about, due to myriad scheduling conflicts. Why, then, get entangled with others with whom I would probably face the same problems? Sitting at home with nothing to do with 100 people who are busy is about as satisfying as with two people.
On a closing note, let this not be construed as me saying I never want to go out. I do want to go out, very much. That's the problem!! I am just having trouble reconciling with a) being stood up and b) having everyone assume I'm not having a good time.
Just being out is a good time for me - I'm not that captivating, hence, I am easily captivated. Unfortunately, most people seem to assume something will either not be to my liking, or that I wouldn't be comfortable being around people I don't know.
And that rambling mess, I think, fills my angst quota for the year.

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