Just as CBS is kind enough to bring us new, fresh episodes of Horatio Caine and His Sunglasses of Justice, Sportsnet brings us daily episodes of Daru Dhillon and Her Teeth of Broadcasting. And, like CSI: Miami, despite its absolute wretchedness, one finds it difficult to turn away from Sportsnet Connected, waiting with baited breath for what might happen next.
For example, when will Mike Toth or Jim Lang stroke out over their jittery excitement of highlights? When will Jason Portuondo drop one of his brilliant catchphrases ("Like a disobedient dog, he's leaving the yard" or "See that efence? That's right, efence, because there was no 'D'")? What more or less pointless things will be mentioned on the Inbox? Where will Daru be when the camera comes back to her?
So, every day, as we contemplate going to TSN, we instead are forced to tune into Sportsnet just to see when the plug will be pulled on this cruel joke. As a result, ratings will skyrocket, just as they did for the piece of alligator flotsam that is CSI: Miami. The Circle of Life goes on.