Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead; it makes him angry

A couple of weeks ago, Jack Bauer the Betta Fish passed away at the ripe old age of two. He is survived by Susie Derkins, his housemate of just over a year, Steve McGarrett, who's been working in housekeeping for about six months, and Eddie Vedder, the albino dwarf frog who himself recently lost his brother, Andrew Wood (named posthumously).

In honour of Jack Bauer's passing:

  • If everyone listened to Jack Bauer, the show would be called "12"

  • 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight

  • They say you can't go a day without water; Jack Bauer has gone five seasons

  • If Jack Bauer didn't shoot you it's because he was shooting at a terrorist 12 miles behind you - Jack Bauer doesn't miss

  • Upon hearing that he was being played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed him - no one plays Jack Bauer
On the positive side, though, Jack's passing allowed me an excuse to buy new fish. Introducing - Jim, Dwight, Michael, Oscar, and Andy (Neon Tetras), and Tony Almeida (second-in-command counter-terrorist Betta fish). The world will remain, once again, safe.

Eddie Vedder
Eddie Vedder, the Albino Dwarf Frog

Jim, Dwight, Michael, Oscar, Andy
Jim, Dwight, Michael, Oscar, and Andy, the Neon Tetras

Steve McGarrett
Steve McGarrett, the pleco

Tony Almeida and Susie Derkins
Tony Almeida the Betta, and Susie Derkins the Dalmatian Molly

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