Thursday, January 21, 2010

2010: The Year We Make Contact (With James Cameron's Unbelievably Large Ego)

I've been told I'm "slacking" by someone, so I figured I'd best get this hammered out before the first movie on the list comes out. After a 2009 that finally picked up steam in the second half of the year, what can you expect from 2010? Well, it doesn't really seem to be following much of a pattern, because - at the moment, at least - it's a pretty lean year, theatrically.

So, without further adieu (click on the film poster for info, click on the film name for trailer):


This is actually a pretty decent month for movies, but there is one I've been looking forward to for quite a while now (despite the presence of Dennis Quaid).

Legion, January 22

Paul Bettany hasn't been tremendously busy lately, but I'm hard pressed to find a movie in which he's been bad (or not shown his ass). I'm also all about the world-ending movies1, but not so big on the blue, arthritic angel attacks.

Also released: Daybreakers (Jan. 8), Book of Eli (Jan. 15)


I don't care what else is coming out this month - there is only one movie I'm really looking forward to seeing, possibly with Ben, alone in a theatre in Barrie, just like we saw the first one.

District 13: Ultimatum
District 13: Ultimatum, February 19

Ben and I saw the first movie - which is essentially an exposé for star David Belle's unbelievable parkour2 - in Barrie on a whim, in a completely deserted Theatre 6. Apparently only three people had seen it the day before, and we were the only two that day. As such, I believe he and I deserve full credit for its popularity once it hit video (and YouTube).

Also released: Dear John3 (Feb. 5), The Wolfman (Feb. 12), Shutter Island (Feb. 19)4


Prepare to digitally, three-dimensionally be creeped out by Tim Burton and Johnny Depp this month.

Alice in Wonderland
Alice in Wonderland, March 5

If you haven't heard, Tim Burton's directing his first movie in three years, and Johnny Depp (whom I love, but am absolutely heebie-jeebied by in this role), and it's Alice in Wonderland. It remains to be seen whether this movie will contribute more to the Alice stories or to Johnny Depp's average screen time. Either way, this should be a very intriguing movie, further legitimizing why we all need to buy 3D televisions in the next two years.

Also released: Green Zone (Mar. 12), I Love You Phillip Morris (Mar. 26)


Unless something else pops up, it looks like we'll be attending a lot of baseball games in April, because we won't be watching many movies. There is one that could prove intriguing, though:

Death at a Funeral
Death at a Funeral, April 16

The original was a hoot (which I have Megs to thank for), so we'll see how an American remake holds up.

Also released: Kick-Ass (Apr. 16), Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (Apr. 23)


All the releases in May kind of make you wonder why a couple of them couldn't be pushed up to April.

Iron Man II
Iron Man II, May 7

With all due respect to Kick-Ass, Iron Man II is the most anticipated superhero movie of the year. Terrence Howard was booted in favour of Don Cheadle in the role of James Rhodes/War Machine, Samuel L. Jackson looks like he'll be spending more time on-screen as Nick Fury, and Jon Favreau returns to direct. I'm not sure I buy Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow, and I wish The Wrestler hadn't resurrected Mickey Rourke's career, but this movie should be great.

Also released: Robin Hood (May 14), Shrek Forever After (May 21), Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (May 28), Sex and the City 2 (May 28)


In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire...

The A-Team
The A-Team, June 11

This has absolutely nothing to do with Bradley Cooper being in it. In fact, the appearance of Liam Neeson and Sharlto Copley alone would make me want to see this, not to mention this is based on, perhaps, the most over-the-top television show of the 1980s.

Also released: Toy Story 3 (June 18), The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (June 30)5


My birthday is on a Friday this year. The last time my birthday was on a Friday, The Bourne Supremacy6 came out. This year, I guess we can go see Dinner for Schmucks. However, there is one July release I'm excited for:

Inception, July 16

Christopher Nolan's directorial follow-up to The Dark Knight casts Leonardo DiCaprio in what looks like a scientific/psychological thriller in the vein of eXistenZ.

Also released: Despicable Me (July 9), Morning Glory (July 30)


August is where things start getting really thin in terms of looking ahead (as well as finding movie posters). This one should be good based purely upon who's in it:

The Other Guys
The Other Guys, August 6

Director Adam McKay crashed onto the theatrical screen when he directed Anchorman, and he and Will Ferrell are teaming up again (they've collaborated a lot) - alongside Marky Mark, Samuel L. Jackson and The Rock - for what looks to be a bit of a wacky police drama. Antics are sure to ensue.

Also released: Priest (August 20)


There's not much to choose from in September (although George Clooney's doing a movie where he's an assassin), but the month's star power comes mostly from TV:

The Town
The Town, September 10

Jon Hamm ("Mad Men") and Blake Lively ("Gossip Girl") join Ben Affleck (who also directs7) in a bank robber-cum-love story kinda movie.

Also released: The American (Sept. 1)


I didn't do it last year, but this year there isn't really anything else coming out, so:

Saw VII, October 22

Who even really cares anymore? It's directed by the guy that did Saw V, so I guess he knows what he's doing, but the Saw franchise is really just becoming a good chance to be grossed out around Hallowe'en. They've completely gone off the rails while trying to convince the audience that everything's happening at the same time...or something. I hate torture porn that tries to have a plot.

Also released: Your Highness (Oct. 1), The Social Network (Oct. 15)


November's a little fuller than October theatrically, with one obvious standout.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows I
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I, November 19

After three consecutive July releases, the Harry Potter franchise returns to its November release roots (to be followed in July 2011 by the finale). Helmed by David Yates, who's directed the last two (the second and third best grossing of the series; the first movie remains the highest-grossing), it's being released in two parts because the final book is so bloody long. This may just give JK Rowling the time to hastily write something else she can turn into a movie franchise8 she can't keep up with.

Also released: Due Date (Nov. 5), Unstoppable (Nov. 12)


Now, last year at this time, I was hoping Avatar would be good enough to justify being the only thing really being released in the month - it's done alright. I doubt it will, but maybe this will be the year C.S. Lewis' estate starts really raking in the dough.

Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, December 10

I haven't really paid a ton of attention to any of the previous movies, but there isn't a whole heck of a lot announced for December, so we'll see if anything else comes out.

Also released: The Green Hornet (Dec. 22)

I made out pretty well after last year's list, and I saw just about everything I highlighted; with any luck and with a lot of patience and free time from the people around me, this year will be even better.

1 - Although I suppose Pat Robertson is lobbying to call it Legion:I Told You So
2 - He invented it, he should be good at it
3 - Or, The Notebook 2
4 - Finally
5 - Does this mean teenage boys can stop being rated against emo vampires?
6 - We also saw Lady in the Water for my 23rd birthday. Sorry about that, guys
7 - He also directed this
8 - Possibly about vampires

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