Son of a bitch, I hate Seth MacFarlane. Sure, Billy Crystal wasn't great, but does this schlub really have to host the Oscars? How many times do you figure he makes mention of Ted only being up for a Best Song Oscar? And makes some comment about being cancelled and then coming back? Or just generally looks like a smug prick? And apparently he's going to be singing and dancing, because he fancies himself a bit of a crooner.
But, I digress, I'm giving him more attention than he deserves. To some predictions!
I think we're really down to three for this - all in the vein of "America Fixes Everything". Argo and Lincoln are the front-runners, with Zero Dark Thirty a dark horse. Thanks for coming out, other six movies, but it's not your year.
Should Win: Argo
Will Win: Argo
Michael Haneke (Amour), Ang Lee (Life of Pi), David O. Russell (Silver Lining Playbook), Steven Spielberg (Lincoln), Benh Zeitlin (Beasts of the Southern Wild)
There's been a late push for Ang Lee, but I think Spielberg has this one wrapped up for Lincoln - considering Ben Affleck and Kathryn Bigelow didn't even make the final cust. I've only seen it and Silver Linings, so I can't really give a great opinion. I can say that Zeitlin doesn't get to win because he spells his name with an 'h'.
Should Win: Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
Will Win: Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
Bradley Cooper (Silver Linings Playbook), Daniel Day-Lewis (Lincoln), Hugh Jackman (Les Miserables), Joaquin Phoenix (The Master), Denzel Washington (Flight)
No explanation needs - Daniel Day-Lewis wins. If you insist on an explanation - Bradley Cooper's good, but doesn't really reach, Hugh Jackman went the wrong way by starting off ugly and ending up handsome, Joaquin Phoenix is just strange (and Philip Seymour Hoffman was the real star of The Master), and Denzel Washington plays the exact same character as he always does, except he flew a plane.
Should Win: Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Will Win: Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Jessica Chastain (Zero Dark Thirty), Jennifer Lawrence (Silver Linings Playbook), Emmanuelle Riva (Amour), Quvenzhane Wallis (Beasts of the Southern Wild), Naomi Watts (The Impossible)
There's a big deal being made about the age of two of the nominees - Riva is 86 and Wallis is 9 - but one of them is not going to win (because Jean Dujardin can't say her name). Jessica Chastain pretty much just brooded and hated sand people, so I don't think she's got much chance.
Should Win: Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Will Win: Emmanuelle Riva, Amour
Best Supporting Actor
Alan Arkin (Argo), Robert De Niro (Silver Linings Playbook), Philip Seymour Hoffman (The Master), Tommy Lee Jones (Lincoln), Christoph Waltz (Django Unchained)
This is a tough one this year. Let's move Alan Arkin and Christoph Waltz out - they were good, but they acted the same way as they've done before. Philip Seymour Hoffman was actually quite good in The Master, Tommy Lee Jones was wonderfully over-the-top in Lincoln, and Robert De Niro acted his ass off for the first time in a long time.
Should Win: Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Will Win: Robert De Niro, Silver Linings Playbook
Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams (The Master), Sally Field (Lincoln), Anne Hathaway (Les Miserables), Helen Hunt (The Sessions), Jacki Weaver (Silver Linings Playbook)
Sigh...Anne Hathaway is going to win this. She doesn't deserve to. She went ugly, cut her hair off, ugly cried, and sang a song - all in 15 minutes of the movie. She deserves naught.
Should Win: Not Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
Will Win: Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
Best Original Screenplay
Amour, Django Unchained, Flight, Moonrise Kingdom, Zero Dark Thirty
Should Win: Amour
Will Win: Amour
Best Adapted Screenplay
Argo, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Life of Pi, Lincoln, Silver Linings Playbook
Should Win: Silver Linings Playbook
Will Win: Silver Linings Playbook
Best Foreign Language Film
Amour (Austria), Kon-Tiki (Norway), No (Chile), A Royal Affair (Denmark), War Witch (Canada)
I think I'll include this because I know who will win! Although, I really want to see No.
Should Win: Amour
Will Win: Amour
Best Animated Feature
Brave, Frankenweenie, ParaNorman, The Pirates! Band of Misfits, Wreck-It Ralph
So, ParaNorman had Anna Kendrick in it, and Frankenweenie was Tim Burton, so I'd be fine with either winning, but they simply weren't good enough movies. I'd say Brave and Wreck-It Ralph will be the big contenders here - I've only seen Brave, so I'm a bit worried about this one.
Should Win: Brave
Will Win: Wreck-It Ralph
Good luck in your contests! I'm sure I'll have a hissy fit!